I don't think we can answer this question. Our minds are composed of a complicated mishmash of experiential learning, innate drives, and scripts we adopt as subroutines to dictate responses to the world around us. So in all that, how can I trust that anything I call my true self isn't a persona I want to be true or a script I developed?
I can think of only two ways but both involve NOT analyzing ourselves. We are the most unreliable witness of all. So we have to go outside.
First, is what others see and say about us. We are taught not to rely on this because it leads to junior high social order in which everyone is looking to the other for apporoval and they all end up monstrosities in the process. Lord of the Flies style. But apart from the slippery slope, we can see how the best of others style us and take something from it. In my case, I am often told how good I am at certain things, how kind I am, etc. I don't believe it for a second. But maybe there's something to it. My therapist says I should at least learn to simply say thank you and accept it. No more no less.
The other pathway is in times we do not think. This is the zen approach. Get outside our conscious mind and see what comes out. Some of us may be afraid of what's there. Afraid we have a beast in there to keep chained. I was. I have a bit of this beast. Verifiable, so until you've really hurt people or stopped traffic both ways in a rage to hold someone there, you're not really there. Some of you are there. Maybe worse. But most of you are just afraid of shadows in yourself. Even in my case, I can be ok. I'm not David Banner here. And those beast moments abate quickly when I feel the sharp pain of an impact or see true fear in someone, or even just catch myself. All this to say, you don't likely have to worry about going berserker. But in getting free and aporoaching flow state, I can find something of the real me.
I think this is why God doesn't often speak clearly to us. If there really is such an all powerful being as I believe I have encountered, he would know best of all how unreliable my brain and psyche are. I can see why he might not want to speak to it very often. What good would it do? A million ways, it could go wrong. No I know that with people, it's often easier andmore effective to modify their behavior behind their consciousness. If you bring up many things, tou get rationalization, lies, arguments, misrepresentations, lack of self awareness (MD licks fingers on camera as she tells everyone not to touch their face). But if I simply don't buy candy, my kid doesn't eat too much of it. There's a whole science to it, trust me. Or spend years learning behavioral psychology. My point is I can see how it might make more sense to work behind the veil. In the cloud of unknowing. In the dark of the soul. Pick your metaphor. The mystics knew this. I surmise the authors of the NT did too. At least there's enough potential evidence to make the case.
At least it gives me enough to hold on to when my mind starts running away with me.
