Sometimes I get flashes of something...revelations maybe, insights? I opened this post to process out some thoughts jumbled in my head. To try to find a thread in the thrashing typhoon of my mind. But as soon as I got the post open, it faded.
So what can I remember? Should I shut this down and chase the thread?
Maybe it's back. I have to accept myself. This sounds cliche. But in this flash, I was actually able to see myself clearly, good and bad. And I didn't hate myself. Yeah, I'm a mess. But it's maybe managing the mess that perpetuates it. Yeah, I'm often violent and distracted. But you know what, I hear a line in my head from eminem about comparisons to will smith.
I don't have to be anything good or bad. I am what I am and who I am. And I don't owe anyone an explanation. I have good points and bad points and those are all my history, even my tendancy, but none of them define or contain me. I am free. And I can take that home to the deepest part of me.
